neverlaur:

neverlaur:

bowlingforwhoop:

neverlaur:

So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.

they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change

Oh, they were.

Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous

Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo

iraffiruse:

WHO DIDN’T PUT THEIR TRAY-TABLE UP?

perks-of-being-chinese:

don’t smile because it’s over, cry because it happened

rnedia:

i don’t understand why it’s illegal to have sex with a miner they provide us with coal and electricity they deserve a little fun

jamarrob:

thoughtsareextraordinary:

WOW

my mama always taught us to do this 👌

nintengirl218:

count-drekula:

       !
EY 

D O N G
energy

where do i apply

oinkaloink:

'no homo' god says as he puts the male g-spot up their anus

nixpunkin:

shitshilarious:

possumoftheeast:

nyannerz:

what the fuucckk

PRAISE THE SUN! 

KNEEL BEFORE THE SOLAR VIKING

DAYMAN

FIGHTER OF THE NIGHTMAN

skeletonhaver:

lanadelreiayanami:

skyyman:

M’lady

this is really terrifying

they’re growing. evolving.

megablaziken:

megablaziken:

throwback to me in high school

ejacutastic:

kill the imposter

rnisfortune:

contractings:

rustymustang:

what happened to old zealand

what about old jersey

dont forget old york

you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?
Asked by Anonymous

jimmbbo:

perfect-melodies-filthy-wubs:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

image

*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life. 

I fuckin love tumblr stories

andro-saurus:

rngnightmares:

THE CAT RETURNED THE KISS

THE CAT RETURNED THE KISS

OH MY GOD

best gif on the internet